Lessons Learned From Emily Lloyd

1. Never underestimate the power of sisterhood. Girlfriends will always be there for you even when others won't be.

2. Smile. Positive energy is infectious and others around you will feed from your joy.

3. Love your Family. They are there from the beginning until the end.

4. Work hard towards your goals. If you are going to do something, go all the way.

5. Be dedicated to your activities. See above.

6. Its ok to spend a whole day watching ridiculous TV or reading a great novel. Those days are good for you.

7. Don't take life too seriously. It is what it is and you will always have time for late night chats over coffee no matter how busy you think you are.

8. Everyone is deserving of love.

9. Take time out of your busy schedule to appreciate the things that matter such as important events for a friend or the starry sky.

10. LOVE.

You changed my life and I am forever grateful.

RIP

How?

Last night around 11:00 I found out that a sorority sister and friend passed away. There is absolutely no way to justify why this happened to a girl of only 22 years. She died spontaneously of a brain aneurism. This girl was simply outstanding. I met her at formal D's and we talked (ver excitedly) about Twilight and other novels that we both loved. She became my "grandmother" in the Delta Gamma family.

Her life was lived to the fullest. She was always there for her sisters and friends. Late night McDonald's run? Sure, sounds great. Emily Lloyd was beautiful, inspiring, and cheerful. Always full of light. Always reaching out to others. I can only come to conclude that she was too good for this world. This is for you Emily Lloyd....

I know we drifted apart but Emily, if you can read this, I admire you. I admire your fun laugh, your ability to make anything exciting, your ability to live each day as if you wouldn't get another. I hope that your place in heaven is filled with beauty. Filled with mountains so you can go snowboarding (and not break your arm :) filled with fuzzy puppies, filled with laughter, sisterhood, and joy. I hope that there are beautiful sunsets, warm chocolate chip cookies, and that you are having lodge sleep overs with Kim :)

You have made your mark on me Emily. You have let me see what life is and how our time on earth should be spent. I love you my darling. Rest in Peace with the Lord.

itb,

Sarah

Pumpkin Spice Lattes

....are fabulous. I am so sad when coffee shops deny me this luxury simply because it is not "pumpkin" season. However, today I sipped a venti PSL from Starbucks while studying with Aaron. Much got accomplished and it was a very enjoyable experience! So, moral of the story, go out and get your self a fancy latte (preferably Pumpkin Spice) and enjoy every last drop!

Sunday Morning Blues

Hi. So this morning was a little hard. It turns out that I have a habit of looking at everything from the worst viewpoint. I was down at myself that I had eaten too much raisin bran making myself a little but too full and not satisfying my appetite. I was thinking how could I eat too much? Stupid, stupid, stupid. What I realized should have been going through my head is, hey you fed yourself this morning. You are taking care of yourself. You have not purged this morning. You have realized that your body needs food and although you have eaten a little much, that probably means that I won't be hungry for a while...and that is fine.

Another frustration was that I felt my lovely tummy looking at me...slowly growing larger. There is not a worse way to crush self confidence than to get into the shower and believe that your already not flat stomach is growing larger...you are a few pounds heavier this morning, you shameful person. However, this is not the end of my life. While I am recovering from my ED, I need to realize that my weight is going to fluctuate. That is normal and expected. What I should be focusing on instead as I step into a warm shower is that today I am going to love my body. Today I am going to nurture, appreciate, and LOVE my body. Today...is going to be a good day.

Love yourself today :)

Enjoying Life

So to say why I am starting blogging again (third time the charm right??), I have found them to be a huge positive influence in my life where those are hard to come by these days. I have been reading self-acceptance blogs like they hold the secret meaning to life and decided that I wanted to join in on the fun. :)

I am also on the recovery path of an eating disorder (gasp)....that is such an icky word. Horrible, painful, confusing, etc. I want this to be a place where I can document my success and failures, thoughts and influences.

Any one who has ever gone through that, you understand how consuming it can be. They start small, little seeds buried in your chest by what someone in second grade said to you, or what your parents did when you were little, and develop into a huge weight that takes over your existence. Making you question why you have to live through this. I went through that, thinking that if I could keep from getting fat, that I was succeeding. It didn't matter that my relationships were failing or that everyday was a chore, at least I could "control" my weight.

I can't even say the exact thing that made me want to stop hurting myself, it was as if a light bulb went off and my brain just said....this isn't healthy. YOU ARENT HEALTHY! Just because you exercise does not make you a healthy individual. So I changed. With help from a dietician and counselor, I am on the rough and rocky road to recovery. So to anyone reading this who is going through the same thing I am, all I can say is....one day at a time sweetheart. You WILL make it.