Enjoying Life

So to say why I am starting blogging again (third time the charm right??), I have found them to be a huge positive influence in my life where those are hard to come by these days. I have been reading self-acceptance blogs like they hold the secret meaning to life and decided that I wanted to join in on the fun. :)

I am also on the recovery path of an eating disorder (gasp)....that is such an icky word. Horrible, painful, confusing, etc. I want this to be a place where I can document my success and failures, thoughts and influences.

Any one who has ever gone through that, you understand how consuming it can be. They start small, little seeds buried in your chest by what someone in second grade said to you, or what your parents did when you were little, and develop into a huge weight that takes over your existence. Making you question why you have to live through this. I went through that, thinking that if I could keep from getting fat, that I was succeeding. It didn't matter that my relationships were failing or that everyday was a chore, at least I could "control" my weight.

I can't even say the exact thing that made me want to stop hurting myself, it was as if a light bulb went off and my brain just said....this isn't healthy. YOU ARENT HEALTHY! Just because you exercise does not make you a healthy individual. So I changed. With help from a dietician and counselor, I am on the rough and rocky road to recovery. So to anyone reading this who is going through the same thing I am, all I can say is....one day at a time sweetheart. You WILL make it.